I tried to pray the gay away
Intersections
In this mini-documentary series, six stories open a window into the complexities of Filipino identities taking shape as migrants and new citizens in the USA.
After facing bullying and hostility for being gay at a young age, Kalaya’an Mendoza left the Catholic Church and sought refuge in Buddhism.
In a vulnerable conversation with a Franciscan priest, Father Julian Jagudilla, Kalaya’an asks if and how his childhood faith can embrace his LGBTQ community.
“I was trying to convince myself and trying to pray the gay away. It hurt. This place was a space where I was supposed to feel community, but I didn’t. There was hostility.”
“I wanted to pursue my own connection to my spirituality. I found that in Buddhism. It is focused on values I care about — compassion, understanding — and about really questioning life’s bigger questions.”
“In this time that we’re living right now, it’s so easy to be hopeless. It’s so easy to give up. But when you see a community constantly fighting and uplifting their struggle, you can’t help but be inspired.”
“We need to love one another more deeply and fiercely than this world hates us.”
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Kalaya’an Mendoza is a queer activist and organizer for social justice movements. After facing bullying and hostility for being gay, he left the Catholic Church at a young age and sought refuge in Buddhism. Face-to-face with Father Julian Jagudilla, he questions if Catholicism can truly embrace the LGBTQ community.